What is friendship? It seems like everyone knows the answer, but when we try to express it in words there is almost nothing more difficult. There are so many essays on friendship, but you can never understand what it is if you do not experience it. Of course, friendship essays are useful, they give advice how to be good friend, how to distinguish true friendship from other kinds of relationships and son. They can help you to understand whether you do something right or wrong, what should you do to keep friendship, but anyway you should feel it yourself. If you have a best friend, you are very lucky. It means you managed to find a person who is ready to support you, help you and always be there for you. It could be best friend essay, but I decided it would be better to give you general idea of what friendship is. So I hope this essay about friendship will be useful for you. Read and enjoy!
What is friendship?
“Friend”, “Friendship”, “Make friends”. What do you mean by these words? Can you give an exact definition to these words?
Every person “faces” friendship in the life. When one has real friends, it influences greatly how much happy he or she feels. But unfortunately sometimes other kinds of relations hide under the guise of friendship, and sometimes as a result person feels deep disappointment. For each of us it is important to know how to distinguished friendship from other types of relations. For this purpose first of all you need to know what friendship is.
Besides, understanding of what friendship is will help you to be a good friend, to make good loyal friends and keep your friendship strong.
Friendship and its features
Friendship is close relationships based on mutual trust, affection, and common interests. Friendship is a deep connection between people that means not only loyalty and mutual help, but also inner closeness, frankness, love.
In the Bible the concept of friendship is expressed with the Greek noun “philia” and the verb “phileo”, which is translated as “to hold dear” (someone). This word means “warmness, closeness and affection”. “Philia” is warm friendly (brotherly) love based on mutual respect. Feeling that appears spontaneously in our hearts.
So we can see that friendship is a feeling, first of all, in particular friendly love. This is not something external, friendship is deep in heart. Second of all, friendship appears spontaneously. You can not make yourself be a friend to someone, or vise versa make someone be your friend. Thirdly, friendship is based on certain grounds that are necessary for its appearing and preservation. These grounds are the following:
- Mutual respect. What does it mean “respect your friend”? It means you should treat him or her respectfully, reckon with his / hers opinion and recognize his / hers positive traits. Respect is expressed in words and actions. A friend, who feels respect, feels that he / she is valued as a person, that his / hers dignity is respected and someone helps him / her not just because of mere sense of duty.
- Trust. Trust means confidence in the honesty and sincerity of a friend, that he / she will not betray or deceive intentionally. Trust does not mean confidence that your friend will never make mistakes, no one is perfect.
These are two basic and main conditions for friendship. Besides it is important for friendship, for example, to have common interests or common moral values. It will be difficult to stay friends for people who have different understanding of what is good and what is wrong. The reason is quite simple: can we show respect to a friend (and maybe trust) when we see that he / she commits acts immoral for us, and thinks there is nothing wrong in it?
Common interests, as we have already mentioned, also contribute to making friends. However for a friendship that lasts for many years and is time-tested, this factor is not very important.
The friendly feelings does not depend neither on the sex of the individual, nor on age. They can be very strong and influence greatly the person’s behaviour and emotional state. Nevertheless, these feelings never include sexual desire (it especially applies to friendship between man and woman).
Distinctive features of friendship (brotherly love)
- it is affection;
- stable (friendly relationships last long and feelings are stable);
- may appear between people of any sex and age;
- can be felt towards a couple of people (but still not many);
- does not have any connection with sexual desires.
Personal qualities useful for friendship
- Sincerity and openness;
- Ability to listen;
- Interest to your friend’s life and feelings;
- Willingness to help and be there in time of need;
- Willingness to forgive;
- Ability to admit your mistakes;
- Ability to take advice;
- Ability to keep secrets.
Develop these qualities and try to show them in everyday life. Insularity, insensitivity, and especially arrogance, indifference and betrayal kill friendship nullifying its base – mutual respect and trust.
What is not friendship
Fellow relationships. One of the most common misbelieves about what friendship is and who friends are is an idea that our friends are those whom with spend much time with, whom we have fun with and have something to talk about. And friendship is a process of such a communication. However, as it follows from the above mentioned, this is not true. Remember: friendship is not communication, not a process and in general not something external. As it was said, real friendship is a feeling that is deep in the heart, it is “filia” or brotherly love towards another person.
It is not necessary at all for a friendship to be directly connected with personal communication or dependent on it. Real friends always stay friends regardless of the circumstances.
Unlike friendship fellow relationships depend on communication, are not connected with feelings and do not raise any mutual responsibilities or affection. Although with fellows we communicate most (and sometimes even share secrets), but “there are fellows who are ready to tear each other apart”. What kind of friendship can be there?
Considering fellow relationships as a friendship may lead to disappointment and deep mental trauma, because as a result of such a relationship you get what you do not expect (or do not get what expect). That is why making fellows do not rush to conclusions that these are your friends for entire life.
Romantic passion. Though there can be both, romantic and friendly relationships between two people, sometimes the first mistaken for the second. In other words sometimes person thinks that he / she has friendly feelings while in fact these are the feelings of desire to get other person’s attention.
Rule 1. Belief in friendship
Belief in friendship means that you should accept friendship as it is without demanding any proof and evidence. This belief is the base of real friendly relationships, on which trust, mutual understanding, mutual help and other essential components of friendship will be built.
Rule 2. Positive qualities development
If a person believe that he / she is able to have friends, he should develop such qualities as courage, fortitude, willpower, stamina, and many others. All together these and other qualities form a strong, stable and integrated personality. If man managed to become such a personality, you can always trust and rely on him / her, what is one of the most important signs of friendship.
Rule 3. Help
Whatever happens, a true friend just has come to the rescue of his friend and help in any possible way. It should not depend on location, busyness, mood or desire. If you know that your friend is in need or needs serious help, you do not have other choice except of helping him in spite of any difficulties.
Rule 4. Self-sacrifice
This rule is perhaps the most important. Partially it deals with the issue of mutual help that we have talked about. But in this case it has other more extend meaning. Self-sacrifice means that a true friend appreciates friendship and other person’s life even more than his own. So in extreme cases, when a friend’s life is in danger, other friend is ready to do everything possible to safe him / her.
These rules and qualities should be followed, let’s say, subconsciously. It means you realize or do not realize them. It can not be like this: “Since today I am a good friend, I will believe in friendship, develop positive qualities, always help and sacrifice my life for a friend”. A person should have all these features, because in such a way he / she expresses attitude towards other people, especially those whom he / she considers to be friends.
So let’s sum up. Real friendship requires mutual efforts. People if they are friends should correctly treat each other, feel mutual liking and desire to help and support each other. In addition such relationships should be kept from both sides. It is very important to feel need in communication, call each other, meet and make some common plans.
However there are cases of unusual friendship. People can make perfect friends having met on the Internet and without seeing each other in real life. Some people keep their friendship on distance. Such friends may not see each other for several months but still their friendship is very strong.
Always remember about your friends wherever you are and wherever they are. Keep in touch with them, let them know that you appreciate them. And the most important is: be ready to be there in any expected and unexpected situation.
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