Essay About Learning New Things

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Hi All,
I just started my TOEFL preparation. Please help me by checking this essay. I cannot judge myself.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement.
Learning new things should always be fun.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


I think everyone should always ready to learn new things whether it is fun or not. We all like to learn new things with fun but not all new things are always with fun which we have to learn. I believe that, learning new things increases your knowledge about new things and if it is with fun then it will also increase your interest to learn that thing.

Nowadays, we can see everyone try to introduce their new product or their method of work with the way which increases the person's interest. We can imagine all things around us for example, when kids first time go to play school, teacher introduces many things to kids with the help of toys and entertain him or her with funny stories. This helps kids to learn quickly. We can see the teachers in schools always searching new methods to teach which increases student's interest. I remember when I was in eighth standard one of my friend forced me to attend one personality development seminar. I did not want to attend that seminar but, when I went there I thought I might have missed many important things in my life if I did not attend that seminar. I learned lots of things there. I like the way he started seminar. He started with some games, magic and entertainment and we really didn't recognize how we spent our whole day there. So I think learning new things with fun is interesting.

We can see nowadays work places are also designed according to the employee's comfort like playing areas and gym facility. This increases employee's interest to work. So if learning new things will be with fun then it will increase individual's interest and he or she will learn quickly.

Thanks.
Ana.

We all like to learn new things with fun but not all new things are always with fun which we have to learn
think is better this way
we all would like to learn new things with fun but not all the thing we have to learn are fun.

learning new things increases your knowledge about new things and if it is with fun then it will also increase your interest to learn that thing.

think is better this way
learning new things increases your knowledge, and by happy feeling in doing it, also could increase your interest to learn more

we can see everyone try to introduce their new product or their method of work with the way which increases the person's interest.
we could see everyone try to introduce their new product or their method of work to increase the person's interest.

We can imagine all things around us for example, when kids first time go to play school, teacher introduces many things to kids with the help of toys and entertain him or her with funny stories. This helps kids to learn quickly. We can see the teachers in schools always searching new methods to teach which increases student's interest.

We can see around us for example, when kids first go to play at school, teacher introduces many things with the help of toys and entertain them with funny stories. This helps kids to learn quickly. Teachers at schools always searchs new kind of methods to teach in order to increase the student's interest.

I remember when I was in eighth standard one of my friend forced me to attend to personality of development seminar.
what do you mean by eight standart?

when I went there I thought I might have missed many important things in my life if I did not attend that seminar.
when I went there, pactically I thought I might just missed many important things in life if I did not come here.

I learned lots of things there. I like the way he started the seminar. He started with some games, magic and entertaint us. And we really didn'tdid not recognize how many time we had spent there.

So I think learning new things with fun is interesting.
We could see nowadays places of work are also designed according to the employee's comfort. there are playing areas and gym facility. This could increases the employee's interest to work.

So if learning new things will be with fun then it will increase individual's interest and he or she will learn quickly.
So if people learn new things with fun, it will increase the individual's interest and could learn quickly
So --> you have two conclusions here, make it one.

ps : avoid repeat the same words often
hope it helps! :)

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